Face the music

Every once in a while you get faced with some really tough things.

This is like that.

There’s one question that you should never ask if you’re not willing to suffer for the answer:

Why?

Why am I here?

If you’ve already asked the question, it is too late.  You can’t un-ask it.

You have two options:

  1. Live with the internal struggle of not knowing why you are on earth.  Eventually you will become numb and not feel the tension anymore.  It’s an option.The second takes WAY more courage:
  2. You can face it.  You can ask the hard questions that you fear asking.  You can face possibly having to quit your job.  You can risk everything.  You can lose everything.  And possibly, just maybe, it can work out for you.

But here’s a little thing that I learned about a life surrendered to Christ:

It’s not about me.

If I want to follow Christ, I need to lose my life.

I need it to NOT be about me.

This is hard.

I lost myself.

Now I wonder – who am I?

*cue whirlwind*

What should I do?
What are the things that I should be spending my time on?
Is anything worth anything?
What if I don’t (well, it’s simple – He’ll get someone else to do it)
What if I’m keeping myself busy with things that are not for His purpose?
What if I’m actually just chasing my own joy?
What am I even chasing?
What is the goal?
Where am I going?

In this whirlwind of questions, I know one thing for certain:

God has promised that He did create me in His image.  He created me for a purpose.  He destined me for eternity with Him.

Whatever happens between now and then – no matter what you do – should bring Him glory.

Allow the whirlwind to come, hold on to His promises, and let Him mold and shape you to become more like Him (Jesus).  Let the light become more and more in contrast with the darkness.

One desire – to reflect His beauty more as I get to know Him more.

No other plans.

Letting everything go.

This, dear heart… This is faith.

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